It’s Not My Fault

When my brother and I were growing up, we often fought with each other.  When our parents confronted us, I would say, “Mike started it.”  And he would interrupt me and shout, “Steven hit me first.”  Neither of us would take responsibility for our mistakes. 

Such is human nature.  Blame someone else.  Avoid taking responsibility.  This condition has plagued us since time immemorial. 

And yet we prefer to talk about anything else.  We dwell on talking snakes.  “The serpent said to the woman, ‘Did God really say: You shall not eat of any tree of the garden?’” (Genesis 3) It is a shame that the Torah’s occasional fanciful stories obscure its important messages.  We focus on the serpent and avoid talking about our responsibilities.    

The serpent tricks Eve into eating the forbidden fruit.  Eve then offers this fruit to Adam, and he eats it as well.  Because Adam and Eve disobeyed God’s one command they are banished from the idyllic garden.  God commanded, “Of every tree of the garden you are free to eat; but as for the tree of knowledge of good and bad, you must not eat of it.”

We had but one rule and we disobeyed it.  The story is a familiar tale.  God confronts Adam and Eve about their disobedience.  Adam responds, “The woman You put at my side—she gave me of the tree, and I ate.”  And Eve counters, “The serpent duped me, and I ate.”  We have been shifting blame and evading responsibility since Adam and Eve.  Like two little boys arguing over who started a fight, our forebears blame others.

They avoid taking responsibility for their own actions.

Everyone makes mistakes.  It is part and parcel to being human.  People make lots of mistakes.  There is only one corrective.  Owning the mistake and taking responsibility for its consequences.  There is no other path.

When God asks, “Akeyah—where are you?” it is not because God does not know where Adam and Eve are hiding or what they did.  God asks this question to offer them an opportunity to own their mistake and take responsibility for their actions.  It was if God asks, “Where do you stand?”  Their answers are not surprising or unexpected.  “She did it!  He made me do it.” are what they offer.

Such answers continue to offer disappointment. And we are forever trapped in this same story. 

The escape stands before us. All we have to do is admit our errors. 

Mistakes are a given.  Assigning blame, shirking responsibility need not be.  We should not ask ourselves, who can I blame but instead what did I do wrong, how can I make amends?

We prefer to talk about anything else.  We dwell on talking snakes.  We offer litanies of all our accomplishments rather than dwelling on our mistakes.  We avoid taking responsibility.  We work to obscure our mistakes.

There is no other way forward than through our mistakes.

God continues to ask, “Where do you stand?”