Make the Most of Rest Stops

One of the most important discussions on any journey, most especially a road trip, is where to take breaks and make stops.  “We’re coming up on a rest stop, does anyone need to use the bathroom?” is a frequently heard question.  “No,” is the typical response.  And then five minutes later, after driving past the Molly Pitcher service area (do I hear any cheers for the Jersey Turnpike?), a voice is heard, “I have to go to the bathroom.”  And now, you are forced to make an unscheduled stop.

Or the fuel light comes on, and it is time to refill the gas tank.  Or the passengers complain that they are hungry, or they appear cranky, and you decide that everyone needs a break, a chance to stretch their legs, and an escape from the crowded car.  “Ten minutes and then we are back on the road,” you shout as they bolt out their seats.

But here is where the adventure might begin.  Here is where a discovery might occur.  Where the destination is delayed, a story often breaks free. 

“Then Abraham journeyed by stages toward the Negev.” (Genesis 12)

I wonder about those stages.  Where did our forefather stop?  What caused him to delay?  What place grabbed hold of his heart, or his imagination, and called to him saying, “We should camp here.  We should pause in this place.” 

I am certain some of these unforeseen stops, and stages, were made for the most mundane, and routine, of reasons.  Even in ancient times, someone must have shouted about a bathroom break.  Or the animals needed to rest.  Or the food and water had to be replenished.  Or our ancestors were simply tired and exhausted, and they could drive on no further.  Other times, I would like to imagine, there was something about the place, or the people they encountered on their adventure, that made Abraham and Sarah stay longer.  Perhaps they said to each other, “In this place, we should take our time.  We should linger.” 

So much of our lives are spent searching for a goal, hurtling toward a destination.  So much of our lives are encapsulated by that often-heard statement, “Ten minutes and then we are back on the road.”  Life is truly lived in the stages, and pauses, taken along the way not in those achieved destinations.  Meaning is found in the steps discovered along the journey.  Life is in some very important ways about the pit stops. 

It is in the unexpected conversations, in the chance meeting made on our way to somewhere else, where we discover meaning.

For two thousand years the Jewish people have prayed, and in many ages, hoped beyond any realistic hope, that we might return to the land of Israel.  This was, and still is, our destination.  It figures in so many of our prayers.  And now we are there.  But there were so many stages along this journey.  We built homes in Russia, Iraq, France and Syria.  We founded communities in Spain, Turkey, England or America just to name a few.  In some of these places there is no longer a Jewish presence and in others we are still there.  We are still lingering. 

Perhaps the Jewish people are defined by their lingering.  This is what defines us: the pauses, and the unexpected turns. 

How is it that your family made their way to Long Island and built a home for themselves here?  Look back on your own personal stories and histories.  Was everything carefully planned?  Perhaps your grandparents or great-grandparents or great-great-grandparents only had enough money to make it to New York and no further.  And so, they stayed here, and lingered.

The stops might indeed be as important as the final, intended, destination. 

So next time, don’t just run in and out of the rest stop so you can get back on the road as quickly as possible.  Linger.  And learn. 

Arriving at a destination offers far less than journeying.  Learning is perhaps best discovered when lingering.

The stages have always defined us.   The stops on the way to a destination provide us with meaning.