Prayer Is a Refuge
Etty Hillesum lived in German occupied Amsterdam. In June 1943 she chose to be transferred to the transit camp, Westerbork, from where she and her family were deported to Auschwitz and there murdered. She was twenty-nine years old. Before leaving Amsterdam, she gave her diary to a friend for safe keeping. Her words are beautiful and haunting. She writes,
Sometimes I want to flee with everything I possess into a few words, seek refuge in them. But there are still no words to shelter me. I am in search of a haven, yet I must first build it for myself, stone by stone. Everyone seeks a home, a refuge. And I am always in search of a few words. (An Interrupted Life: The Diaries of Etty Hillesum, 1941-43)
Perhaps Hillesum is right. A refuge is not a physical space but a spiritual one. We can fashion it with our words.
The Torah reports that the Israelites are to set aside six cities of refuge. “These six cities shall serve the Israelites and the resident aliens among them for refuge, so that any person who slays a person unintentionally may flee there.” (Numbers 35) Punishment must be adjudicated by dispassionate courts. These cities helped to guarantee this by preventing family members from exacting revenge.
Rabbi Abraham Joshua Heschel of Opatov, affectionately called the Apter Rav, sought to spiritualize the meaning of these cities. He taught that these six cities correspond to the six words of the Shema. The word is our refuge. We escape in prayer.
The Torah relates that there were forty-two stations where the Israelites stayed during their forty years in the wilderness. (Numbers 33) They camped at these oases on their long and arduous journey. There they found refuge.
And these forty-two places correspond to the number of words in the V’Ahavta. Combining these teachings, we discover that our central prayer offers us forty-eight words. They can serve as our refuge. We can escape to them. No matter a person’s faith one can always find shelter and protection by loving God. One can always find refuge in the words of our prayers.
I continue the search for few words.
And there I will build my home.